8 Secrets to Raising G.R.E.A.T. Kid’s

Dawn Billings is the creator of the new parenting tool and toddler toy called CAPABLES and  is CEO and Founder of RelationshipHelp.com 

1. Begin teaching them there is greatness within them the day they are born. Don't tell your child they are perfect just the way they are. They may be perfect in our eyes however they are children with whom we have been entrusted to do all we can to strengthen their talents and manage their weaknesses. We can love our little ones so much that we end up over-protecting and indulging them. We think of how small and sweet and innocent they are. But they are also amazingly brilliant and resourceful and we must never under estimate how smart, talented and competent they are. Perfection does not exist. However there is such a thing as excellence and it is worthy of our efforts to develop excellent habits that will increase our children's chances of success. A great way to begin to teach children about the greatness within them is to use The CAPABLES Parenting Tool & G.R.E.A.T. Child Development System.

2. Be careful to not be easily manipulated. Children learn early how to manipulate! Their job is to “GET THEIR WAY”. They learn quickly to throw temper tantrums, cry, scream and nag. Giving into your child’s tantrums harms the child, and never helps them. In life they are not going to excel in school or get that job or promotion or anything else they want by throwing temper tantrums. As parents we need to teach our children at very young ages to become resilient. It is never if we get knocked down by life, it is when. The CAPABLES Childhood Development System helps teach your child to bounce back from disappointments and begin anew with a good attitude. It is only with the hard work of standing back up after a fall that leads us toward our greatest successes in life.

3. Be Consistent. Do What you say you will do. Your children depend on you to tell them the truth. Do what you say you will do. This is the basis for trust in any relationship. This is especially true when you promise a consequence. You must follow through. Your children must learn to trust YOU, before they can learn to trust themselves. Being consistent with your child is the key to raising a well-behaved child!! IF IT'S "NO" NOW, IT'S "NO". In 5 Minutes it needs to still be a NO, AND it's a "NO" until you choose for it not to be NO, not until your determined child can wear you down. Being consistent is hard. It is one of the most difficult challenges involved in parenting. However, it is also one of the most important when you are building the greatness within your children.

4. Give your child what they need, NOT what they want. Don't give your child everything you did or didn’t get when you were a child. Growing up very poor, this was one of the mistakes I made with my children. I hear a lot of parent's say "I'm trying to give my child what I never had." Well, that's fine if you never had basic clothes, shoes, a roof over your head or an education. Those are the thing's that matter. But we have become a society of consumers that think we HAVE to have endless material things to be happy. This kind of entitled thinking will harm your child in the long run! Studies have proven that children who can delay gratification are more successful in school and careers. We must teach our children to work and strive for things they want in life. We give our children so much they don't appreciate anything! If you want to give your child too much, give them too much TIME. I've never seen a child who didn't long for their parent's time and affection. The true meaning of happiness comes out of what we give to others, not what we receive. Give your children endless opportunities to serve and give to others and you will find that your children end up very rich in all of the important things in life.

5. When a child says "Leave me Alone!" - DON'T. When their sweet babies become mean, arrogant, entitled teenager's a lot of parent's want to disconnect. As compelling as that might feel, disconnecting from your children once they become teenagers is one of the biggest mistakes you can make. If your child has an attitude and tells you to "Leave me alone" or "Get out of my life." (and most teenagers will behave disrespectfully at one time or another) Remember, they do not mean what they say, even if they think they do.  They actually NEED YOU more when they are teenagers than they did when they were small!

6. Shine bright. Be a great role model. Your children depend on you to be that guiding light, and strong, stable parent they truly need. Don't give up on them, and DON'T BACK DOWN! Your rules are still your rules and your values are still your values. Hold strong and eventually your children will grow to respect you. Don't allow yourself to feel guilty about standing your ground! Your children must learn to be respectful of you, your home and their other family members in order to ever learn to respect themselves.

7. Know your child’s friends. Knowing who your child is hanging out with and where their going any tine day or night is a critical element in raising great kids. Kids that know their parents will be checking up on them and care about their choices and safety are less likely to be easily seduced into harms way. Know what's happening at school and with their friends. Be an involved parent. Even when your children don’t want you meddling in their lives, do it anyway. Get involved, stay involved and don’t be afraid to ask lots of questions. They will think you are old fashioned and annoying and that will prove you are doing it right.

8. Know your child. This probably sounds a bit strange when I say, Know your child, but each child is unique, with different talents, skills, personalities and struggles. Know your child's strengths and weaknesses and help them navigate the mine fields in life that are consistent with those strengths and weakness. What are your child's strengths, talents and interests? What are your child's greatest dreams? If your children are younger, take a look at the personality color tendency videos on the Parenting Help page and see if you recognize your child's personality color blend (What you would consider their top 3 personality colors that influence their perceptions and behaviors). If your child is older than 10, then go to Primary Colors Personality and have them take the personality tests. They are fun and easy.

Use my Primary Colors Personality Test to understand more clearly your personality, and the personality of your child(ren). It is easily and fun for the entire family. Then use The CAPABLES Parenting Tool & G.R.E.A.T. Child Development System to help you focus on how best to strengthen, encourage, inspire and educate your child to insure their success.